::Griffblog::

My last blog entry was a few months back. At the time I was struggling with morphine withdrawal and the blog wasn’t high on the to-do list.

I’m glad to report that I did manage to get through it. Given I had thrown away the last of the morphine prescription and I wasn’t about to go out and try and get some illegal drugs it was a foregone conclusion I guess!

But it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do and gives you a whole new perspective on the life of a drug addict. Mine was prescribed and controlled and still I became addicted so it is easy to see how a drug abuser can become hooked all too quickly.

Life is pretty much back to normal now, I’m still on the road to full fitness, knee still quite a way of full mobility but 120º of bend now which is great and means I can now kneel, run and ride a bike.

I’m now a regular gym attendee and am glad I had my leg sorted. So the main issues of life are not the more usual ones, the business, making ends meet and trying not to put too much weight back on!

I’m now 9 days in and it’s been far far harder than I had anticipated!

I’d optimistically thought that the worst would be over after 3-4 days but over a week in and I’m still struggling with the side effects of the morphine withdrawal.

With 24hours of stopping I was suffering the expected symptoms of aches and pains, headaches, flu like symptoms etc but the worst was the agitation and a weird feeling in arms and legs which caused me to shake them continually for hours at a time. A mix of pins and needles, a buzzing feeling etc.

It meant sleep was very difficult and for the first few days I could only sleep when pure exhaustion took over, sometimes grabbing a few hours at most. Continue reading…

For the last few days I’ve been feeling very positive and happy so the contrast with my glum disposition today is all the more obvious.

The infection appears to be improving at least. During the daily pin cleansing and dressing this morning it certainly looks like the infection around the pin is receding which if true is great news but despite this I can’t shake the mildly depressed feeling I have woke with. I’ve been snapping at my wife and daughter. Given all they have done and are doing for me these are the last people I should be arguing with!

Part of it is possibly my first appointment with the Physio tomorrow. Although it is just an assessment I’m worried that they will mark my inability to raise my ‘bad’ leg onto a stool or into bed as poor progress. It’s difficult to know what I ought to be able to achieve by now but this is the one thing that means I am still heavily reliant on others for. If I want to get off the settee I need help to move my leg as I do when I sit down and the same applies for getting into/out of bed.

Continue reading…